You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
