then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
