two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
