Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
