my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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