a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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