We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
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how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
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I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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