we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
