Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
