i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
