PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
