flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
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How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
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I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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