Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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