maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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