cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
