I like my sex mixed with concussions.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
