dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize