my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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