She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
