Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
