I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
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I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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