well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
