We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
