so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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