I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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