Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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