Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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