her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
