# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
