East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
