We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
