I wish life had little blips of pornography
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
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