Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
