that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
