also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
