im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
