you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
