literally had 100 drinks last night.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
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But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
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I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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