can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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