Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
