Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
