just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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