Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
only you would photoshop your dick
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
