Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
