theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
