so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
