Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
