She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
