the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
