If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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