forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
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Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
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Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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