Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
