my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
