The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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