another moral hangover. fuck.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
